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Bunsen is a Beast Review/Transcript
Bunsen's Dad: Ooh! The electric bill! My favorite! *eats it* Miss Flap: 'Morning class, hey sorry I'm late! I forgot I was a teacher and accidentally took a joy ride with some rebel bikers. '''Old Lady: '*sees Bunsen's severed arm, does spit take* It's the end times! *falls out of her chair* 'Mikey: '''Yes! I nailed that! '''Bunsen: '''Yeah you did! Gimme twenty! '''Mikey: '''Uh, welcome to the cafeteria, Bunsen! ''(Bunsen laughs as he throws a stack of cafeteria trays into his head and blends them up) '''Commander Cone: '''What's...happened to my life? I USED TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND! '''Bunsen: '''Why don't we get this party started with a beast party trick? *juggles his eyeballs* '''Timmy Turner: '''That is both disturbing and awesome! '''Miss Flap: '''Say hello to our new student, Bunsen! '''Students: '''Hello. '''Bunsen: '''Wassup?! Yep! That is me! I am the first beast in an all-human school! So uh...I hate this show! Like, ''really'', ''REALLY hate this show! And uh, you know when I said that Sanjay and Craig ''was the worst? '''I was wrooooonnng'. Alright, let's-let's take this one step at a time. I've heard nothing but bad things about Bunsen is a Beast, but going into this show, I tried to take them all in stride. I mean, so far, I've dealt with Fanboy and Chum Chum ''without too much issue and the same thing with ''Breadwinners. So I thought that this one would've been...easy to deal with. By the time the theme song ended I wanted to gauge my ears out. (Plays some of the theme song) Every. Single. Second. Of this miserable-ass '''show, I thought that it'd be a more productive use of my time to try and drive my cranium through a brick wall! This is, no joke, one of the most annoying shows that ''I ''have ever experienced. You know, the guy who has a living reviewing bad and annoying cartoons. This show has three main problems, which is surprising to me because it really seems like one of the most problem-riddled shows in existence. The first of the problems is that the show '''never shuts up! The entire show is just noise. Every single second is filled with "wacky sound effects" or talking. It makes Felix the Cat: The Movie look like Studio Ghibli for Christ sake! And you know, that might not be so bad. I've been able to tolerate other shows like this, and, even like them, people said that was a problem with Hazbin Hotel, but, I-I love that pilot. Angel Dust: Ohh, harder daddy! No, what makes it so exceptionally 'bad here is the voices that they chose. And that's problem number two. I'm sorry. If you thought that Bunsen's voice was a...tolerable voice for any character, not just acceptable, but tolerable in any sense of the word, you are legally deaf! '''Bunsen: '-my head spout when I'm excited! I-I think that's actually a requirement to be declared legally deaf, thinking that Bunsen's voice is okay. I didn't think it would be so bad going in. I thought many people were over-exaggerating. But no, the legends were right! It might not sound so bad in out of context bits, but imagine hearing this for a ''long, plodding episode, it continually beats down on you. And you know what the worst part is? Despite having the worst voice in history, Bunsen, doesn't even have the worst voice in this show! No, that-that's Amanda. Amanda: '''Oh look at that, it wasn't a swamp. Buzz off, weirdo! She speaks with a lisp, that goes on to '''grate. It's not just that these two voices together are annoying as hell, but half of the time, you don't even know what they're saying! Like, it sounds like vocal mush, lost in some strange inflections that the human or beast or whatever voice shouldn't be able to make. Because the human ears certainly can't hear it! Let me give you a brief rundown of voices that I'd rather listen to than Bunsen or Amanda. I would rather listen to Bubsy from Bubsy 3D. I would rather listen to Whitey from Eight Crazy Nights. I would rather listen to any of the Problem Solverz. I'd rather listen to every episode of Ctrl+Alt+Del than one episode of this show. And if you recall, Ctrl+Alt+Del ''had literally broken audio equipment. I'd even rather listen to my own videos from 2013. The audio quality in this show is that '''fucking '''bad! I could only make it a couple of episodes through this one because, by the end of it, I had a legitimate headache. No, I'm not kidding. '''WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS'?! Oh yeah, Butch Hartman. Alright we're on to our next problem. Nickelodeon has had an issue with...some would call it relying on the same people and products over and over again. But I'm just gonna call it what it is, it's "creative inbreeding." That's the only way to describe the later Dan Schneider shows, the middle Spongebob ''seasons, or the later Butch Hartman shows. They're jokes and stories and shit that we've seen before regurgitated and put back together in disgusting new ways. Butch Hartman has been a controversial figure as of late for a variety of reasons that you can look into on your own time. A lot of people say that he's like, the George Lucas of animation. He's a guy with big ideas that he didn't really know how to communicate into writing. He's not. Butch Hartman is the M. Night Shyamalan of animation. He started out really big with some pretty good successes. He was praised as someone great, got a big ego, and then made a series of progressively worse cartoons until his reputation was in the toilet. With George Lucas, even the ideas of his worst products could work on some level. ''Bunsen is a Beast ''could not work. Ever. What's the concept? "Amanda wants to commit a genocide against Bunsen's race"! Perfect concept for kids, totally family-friendly, can't wait to see it on Oaxis! It might sound like I'm exaggerating, but, I am only ''barely exaggerating. In the theme song, Amanda says she specifically wants the beasts gone "so their numbers won't be increased." That sounds like some fucked-up shit no matter how you spin it. The writing is the final, major problem with the show itself. I will say, this doesn't have the traditional Butch Hartman cliches, because, that requires trying. This is "season 10 of Fairly Oddparents" ''bad, where things just happen because deranged people who put no effort into their work think that random things that don't make any sense equals funny. The teacher has an omelette that's not hers. Then she interrupts the climax of the episode to say that the omelette is hers! '''Miss Flap: '''ALRIGHT EVERYONE, STOP! ''(The students and ice cream trucks pause) Miss Flap: 'This was my omelette. Alright, whoever wrote that joke, please, h-have a seat. I want you...to explain to me...why that's funny. I have all day. I am willing to sit here as long as it takes until you give me that dissertation as to ''in what realm that is any semblance of a joke! Let me guess, you specifically wrote that joke for beasts to understand and not humans. Imaginary creatures that don't exist. Because that's the only thing that would ever find any joke on this show even the remotely humorous! I thought ''Robot and Monster ''was bad with its comedy, but no, this is the '''bottom of the barrel in lack of understanding of comedy. It's not just...not gonna make you laugh. You can understand where there are supposed to be jokes. They're things ''structured ''like jokes, but they just throw in random bullshit. And, what about the story? What story? Amanda wants to get rid of beasts because reasons unexplained. It's literally just Crocker wanting to capture fairies again, with less of a reason. Fairly Oddparents ''has Crocker, ''Bunsen is a Beast ''has a crock of shit. The animation? Well, i-it's better than ''Fairly Oddparents ''season 10, but I love that they use the exact same Flash techniques that ''Fairly Oddparents ''season 10 used...that maybe got that show axed. Brilliant idea, guys! I can't say that this show looks ugly. A lot of people say this looks the most different from the typical Butch Hartman style, which is untrue, ''Danny Phantom ''is, clearly the show you'd have the hardest time calling a Butch Hartman show by the art style alone. I think that this is the best a show ''could look in terms of the Butch Hartman style, which means it-it's only like a four out of ten in terms of animation, but even if the animation was amazing, good writing can save bad animation, but bad writing can never 'be saved by good animation. And while this show does look decent, I guess, like I mean, ''really decent, I'm too busy banging my head against the wall to look at it. Every second of this show is filled with off-the-wall annoyance. It is legitimately one of the most annoying shows that I've ever seen. Yes, I'm repeating myself, but I feel that I have to emphasize this. And yeah, I do sound a little bit pissed, but I live in a world where people are supposed to get better with skills and age. And what I'm seeing is someone who is well-respected and basically tenured giving kids random, pandering shit without a single thought for quality control. A complete lack of originality from a creator who has been out of ideas for over a 'decade '''now! Even Bunsen's design is unoriginal. This is your monster? Just a random fuzzy thing with a big mouth? It looks like Dr. Seuss tried drawing ''Where the Wild Things Are. I've seen this before. Even if I hadn't, Big Mouth ''has a better-looking beast than yours, and that's one of the worst shows that I've ever seen. '''Why '''does Bunsen's voice sound like that? I '''legitimately '''want to know. What was the process of determining this creature's voice? Who sat there and said that this was okay? Or, alternatively, who are all the people who just...stood there and didn't say: "My God, this is one of the worst things that I've ever heard in the absolute dearth of the voice acting industry"? And let me be absolutely clear; this is no offense to the voice actor himself, whoever it is. Bad voices in animation are rarely based on the actual voice ''actor, but the direction that they're given. When we get voices like Harry Scary or Bubsy, it's because some studio hack thought that these voices would be funny or charming or something. Even though the voice actor here is relatively inexperienced at voice acting, this is literally the only cartoon that he's ever done, I have to assume that he could do better than this with some better direction. And this show, once upon a time, was going to be a picture book, believe it or not. That was when a Nick executive saw the drawings that Butch Hartman did and decided that it should be a cartoon instead. Which may be one of the absolute worst things that a Nick executive has ever done. Oh yeah, this show is '''that bad. As a picture book, it would be cliche but tolerable. Constant, off-the-wall noise of some of the most ear-grating vocal performances that I've ever heard. Voices that could only be improved by a broken microphone. If you have a format for this show that doesn't have that, it's a vast ''improvement. Already. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to listen to the theme of ''Kung Fu Dino Posse ''because I want to flush Bunsen's voice out of my system! And the only way to get rid of it is basically to burn it with the audio version of '''fire'! 'Announcer: '''Next on Nickelodeon...it's- ''(Shows clip of Welcome to the Wayne theme song) (There is no end credits music this time, but instead audio clips of Butch Hartman during a livestream) '''Butch Hartman: '''Someone says "What do I think of the Oaxis Family Guy meme?" Oh. I'm not even gonna look at it cause it's a-the question's being asked by uh...Dueling Duelist *laughs*. I'm not even gonna look at it and I don't care. Cause you know why? Whenever someone-whenever you put yourself out there to do anything, there's always someone that's going to like, uh, try and bring you down cause they've never done anything on their own, and so uh...if uh, someone wants to do something and then-and they wanna ask me questions like that, that's one thing, but if someone doesn't do anything and they wanna like, you know, I don't know, criticize, then uh...I have no time for them. No time for them. Uh, I just wanna tell, uh, all people like that, that if you guys can't do it yourselves, you shouldn't criticize anybody else. Now another cartoonist wants to have a problem with me or whatever, that's-that's a different story but uh, at least somebody who's actually done something I'll-I'll talk to or talk about. You know what's funny, wait I wanna say one more thing. You know, as-as many things as I've done in my life, like-like being a father, being a husband, being a uh...um...you know, a guy who's in his fifties who's done, or a boss, a guy who's done shows, a guy who's stayed up late at night working really hard, to answer questions from people who've never done anything and then they wanna criticize, I-I it just, it makes me laugh. It makes me laugh, it's like "really? That's your question?" So, it's-it's-it's quite amusing actually. So uh...good luck out there trying to get a rise out of me because you never will. Category:Nick-o-Rama Category:Transcripts